If you didn't know already, October is Baby loss awareness month and of course that really means something to us now. Ironically, if we hadn't had our first miscarriage in March, I'd be due with that baby the 25th of this month. But here I am 3 pregnancies down and still no closer to having a healthy baby in our arms.
It's crazy to think that before this year I hadn't really known of anyone having a miscarriage and I never thought in a million years we would see ourselves have 3 in one year. March saw us have a miscarriage at 7 weeks, then in June we had one at 4 weeks and then September we lost our pregnancy at 15 weeks.
Life can be crazy. and cruel.
I don't know why miscarriage or still birth or pregnancy loss or whatever you want to call it, is such a taboo subject. I understand that some people feel guilty or like it's their fault or even ashamed maybe but that is all the more reason to talk about it. I find talking about things really helps me come to terms with things and 'deal' with it better than keeping it all inside or pretending it hasn't happened. It hurts to talk about it at the time but it would hurt a lot more living with that pressure bottled up until it erupts. Talking about it also helps other people. I have had so much great feedback on my videos I have put up talking about it. People saying they can related and have been through it and I have helped them realise they are not alone. That is a little bit of good out of these horrible situations.
October 15th will see us light our candle and remember the babies we have lost. Even though I lost 2 at early stages, they were ALL still our babies and I do still think of them all or how life would be now if I hadn't lost them.