To the stranger that stopped me on the way out of the restaurant..
You probably have no idea how much I needed to hear your kind words today.
After a few rough days with the baby, a few rough days with mum guilt at it's highest and a few rough days of questioning my parenting skills, I was feeling deflated.
Our morning had started at 5:30am with screams and continued to spiral into 'one of those mornings'. I found myself shouting more than I wanted and just needing to get out the house. We had no real plans so aimlessly wandered shops, looking at toys to distract and entertain the kids.
I couldn't face spending the afternoon at home so I decided to stop with the girls for lunch. I'm not going to lie, with the morning I'd had, I was kind of dreading it but I was hopeful for at least a large hot coffee to help cheer me up.
We ordered our favourite foods, I got my coffee & the girls ate well, despite making the biggest mess as usual. As we were finishing up, that sense of dread came back over me as I knew it was time to go home. I could already picture the protesting of getting in the carseat, the tantrums when we got home and that low feeling started to drift over me once again. I felt the weight of parenting on my shoulders and the self doubt creeping in. How would I get through the rest of the day? Why am I feeling like this? Do my kids just hate me? Am I not enough?
As we were leaving, you stopped me and honestly? My initial thought was you were going to say something negative.. about how I had my phone at the table, about the mess my toddler had made or the fact I let me kids play with the ice from the jug of water. I braced myself. I forced a smile through gritted teeth.
'What lovely children you have, it looks like you've done such a good job with them. It's lovely to see such well behaved children'
You probably have no idea how much I needed to hear your kind words today. That forced smile turned into a genuine smile and I was suddenly hit with a feeling of pride.
You stopped the self doubt and mum guilt (if only for an hour..) and put things back into perspective for me.
"It's just a bad day, not a bad life."
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We ordered our favourite foods, I got my coffee & the girls ate well, despite making the biggest mess as usual. As we were finishing up, that sense of dread came back over me as I knew it was time to go home. I could already picture the protesting of getting in the carseat, the tantrums when we got home and that low feeling started to drift over me once again. I felt the weight of parenting on my shoulders and the self doubt creeping in. How would I get through the rest of the day? Why am I feeling like this? Do my kids just hate me? Am I not enough?
As we were leaving, you stopped me and honestly? My initial thought was you were going to say something negative.. about how I had my phone at the table, about the mess my toddler had made or the fact I let me kids play with the ice from the jug of water. I braced myself. I forced a smile through gritted teeth.
'What lovely children you have, it looks like you've done such a good job with them. It's lovely to see such well behaved children'
You probably have no idea how much I needed to hear your kind words today. That forced smile turned into a genuine smile and I was suddenly hit with a feeling of pride.
You stopped the self doubt and mum guilt (if only for an hour..) and put things back into perspective for me.
"It's just a bad day, not a bad life."
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